Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize