Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize