Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
