The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
