miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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