Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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