SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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