Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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