Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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