It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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