By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
