i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize