Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
