so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
