i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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