U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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