your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
