I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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