You really coming over, don't trick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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