One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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