is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
