lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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