If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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