yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
