I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
