that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
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I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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