Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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