I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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