i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
