so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
