question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
