I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
