I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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