Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
