I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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