you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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