How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
