i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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