Cold hands, warm shart.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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