I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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