READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
