Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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