i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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