Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
