Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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