you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hell yes lets make some ravioli
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
