Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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