what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
