she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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