we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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