Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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