Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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