My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
