if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
